From day one, we have labored to follow Benedict's admonition to make our own living "by the labor of our hands." Here we detail the struggle to do just that -- first through many forms of farming and into photography. We also talk about our struggles in the spiritual life and in shaping our monastic dedication.

St. Benedict's Farm: A Story of Perseverance

Somewhere in the Bible it says, "The life of man on earth is a warfare." Our battle has taken many turns, but it began with the simple issue of making a living. Beyond that, we faced the challenge to figuring out how God was calling us to live the monastic life. Then there have been those personal struggles each child of God faces in life, and -- for some of us -- the struggle to pass from this earth to the next. All must answer this bell too. Jesus reminds us: "The one who perseveres to the end shall be saved." (Mt10:22)

The Physical Struggle

From our book, Your Friendly Neighborhood Monks, we find the following: "While visiting at Mr. Van Wart's Houston steel plant once, a Negro hand who had moved in from the country, said wistfully, "I farmed until I lost a thousand dollars!" We have always collected bits of wisdom like that, and in a way it expressed our own experience. Figuratively, "We farmed until we lost $1,000!" We had raised snap beans; fed spooky Florida Brahman cattle; raised hay for sale; farmed corn, milo and watermelons; raised pigs... and milked cows for 20 years!" Until we got into the Grade-A dairy business in 1964, we had never made enough money to pay income tax. Losses carried forward each year wiped out whatever meager "profits" there were.

Cattle and Picture Taking

Our agricultural odyssey was a learning experience. It was, so to speak, "an honest mistake." After all, we were just trying to answer an obvious question with an obvious answer. How do you make a living on a farm? You know, you plant something, harvest and sell it. What could be simpler? Ah yes, but the weather and the market and the cost of the tools of production, and including gas and fertilizer and... and... ! In farming, we learned, it costs a lot of money to make a little. After going through dairying, hogs, watermelons, corn and snap beans, we began to develop a modest herd of beef cattle... Enough to keep us honest in calling ourselves a "Farm". This enterprise is today our only tie with the land, our birthright to Texas culture. Along the way, however, God blessed us with a photography business that keeps bread and meat on the table. Benedict prescribed that his monks "earn their living by the labor of their hands, as did our Fathers and the Apostles." This is an idea firmly embedded in the vision of St. Benedict's Farm, an idea we plan to pursue, no matter what form it might have to take. As long as we are able, we will endeavor to "earn our bread by the sweat of our brow."

Wrestling with the angel; The Spiritual Struggle

In the first part of this section, we speak about the simple struggle of "making ends meet." But -- like our forefather Jacob -- we have also had our share of wrestling with the Angel of God. In many ways, because St. Benedict's Farm has chosen to take a different tack from conventional monasteries. We have sought and developed devotional practices different from those we were brought up with, including a monastic prayer life somewhat different from "traditional" monasteries. Encouraged by the Rule of St. Benedict, we learned early to go to the Scriptures and the Fathers of the Church, to find our daily spiritual food. When the Second Vatican Council came along, this further confirmed our growing spirituality, and left us in a position to help the larger church. Another big change: Early in 1968 we became a community accepting both men and women. Hefty "alterations" like these come at a price -- like a mother giving birth. They didn't happen overnight, and there was pain.