After sixty years of marriage counseling, I can confidently say that a great many of the problems in this area come from a misunderstanding of words. Not long, unfamiliar and difficult words, but common everyday words that one uses to mean one thing, but their partner thinks they mean something else. However, the marriage situation is not the only place where this problem arises. Misunderstandings and conflict often arise between religious people, not because they do not know Greek or Hebrew, but because they interpret the simple words in different ways. This is not a paper on semantics, but I mention this because two of the words which Paul uses in this part of Romans, are commonly misunderstood by many people.
When Paul speaks of justification, and/or obedience, he has a very specific thing in mind, which is not the same as that interpreted by many religious people today. As humans, we are very much self-focused. We see the world in terms of our needs...our likes and dislikes...our heritage and orientation. When I was a young preacher, I used to start my first sermon in a meeting with the statement, "I want to go to heaven when I die." I haven't used that statement in over 40 years, and yet I still have people who remember a time when they heard me say it, and they loved it. I stopped using it years ago, when I matured enough in my faith to realize that there was a higher purpose to my Christianity than getting me into heaven.
My justification, made possible by the shed blood of Jesus Christ on the ross,removed the barrier of sin, which separated me from a personal relationship with my Heavenly Father. He wanted to restore that relationship, and sent His Son to make it possible. Therefore, it is for Him that I live. My justification fulfills His purposes. Only when I look past my personal welfare, and eternal safety, and see myself as the object of His love, striving to fulfill His desire, can I truly be Christian.
Next is the word "obedience". If I see this as marching to the commands of the Heavenly General, I become a mechanical soldier. No matter how well I fulfill that role, nor how exactly I follow the rules, I will never be what He really wants. Keeping the law does not make Jew or Gentile into one who loves God, and loves his neighbor as himself. Yet, Jesus said that that was what the law was all about. My obedience must be a response to my love of God, and my desire to please Him, not just to save myself. Only when this is the motivation for my obedience can it be called the "obedience that comes from faith." That is why Paul says,"... we are saved by faith, not by works of the law."
Preachers who preach about God wanting you to be rich and happy, simply pander to the hedonistic drive in every human animal. It is no wonder that they attract thousands, and appear to be successful. At the other end of the scale, harsh and demanding preachers, who tell you they have the truth, and if you don't conform to their interpretation of truth, you are going to be lost, also speak to the animal within each of us. One preaches reward, the other preaches punishment, but both miss the real point of Christ's mission to earth. He came to tell us of the Father's love. Our task is to return that love, not for hope of reward, or fear of punishment, but out of heartfelt gratitude for His love, and a genuine desire to respond by loving Him. One who truly loves does not seek his own happiness, but the happiness of the one he loves. Such an attitude on the part of both parties would solve all marriage problems. It would also make Christians out of "church goers".
